


Dark and Light

by sterlynsilverrose



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 20:22:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13038723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterlynsilverrose/pseuds/sterlynsilverrose
Summary: In moments of Silence Hak and So-Woon take some time to think about each other and how their actions have affected each other.





	Dark and Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ewagan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewagan/gifts).



Solitude.

It wasn’t something Hak was familiar with these days. The warrior turned wandering babysitter had gained more and more people around himself and the princess until there just wasn’t any time to be worried about being alone. 

There was always someone to talk to, someone to spar with, and someone to drink with. 

Breaks from the dragons, Yoon, and the princess were rare. 

The restless itch he had under his skin wasn’t something he could ignore for very long. 

It had started off with small things. 

If one of the dragons wasn’t present, there was a small twitch under his skin and Hak found himself looking around the peripherals of their camp until whichever straggler came back. If they were split up and under siege, he always caught himself becoming more and more tense until everyone reunited. 

The itch of course was worse with Yona when she was out of sight. Not even having all the dragons protecting her made him relax. 

But this time was different. 

Yona had quietly, with a fire in her eye, shooed him out of the camp, shoving at his lower back. 

“You need to unwind, and you can’t do that here,” she had pointed out wisely before turning on her heel and heading back to talk with Yoon as he cooked dinner. 

It was just like Yona. As she grew in their travels, she learned when it was time to put her foot down and make her bodyguard take a walk. She had become too perceptive of his moods, and while most of the time she put with his brooding, for whatever reason she had told him to go walk this time. 

So on her order, Hak took a walk. 

His wandering took him in the direction of the village they were camped by. His feet led him down the winding dirt path onto one of the main roads of a village they had helped save months ago. Pausing, Hak narrowed his eyes when he saw imperial soldiers chatting by one of the stores he wanted to check in to. They were minding their own business and looked at ease. 

The townspeople were still wary to the guards presence in most villages, but that too was getting better thanks to Soo-Won and his leadership. Soo-Won had pulled up his sleeves and worked to make things better. His guards and the army had followed suit. Soon the Kingdom of Kouka would be as formidable as it used to be. 

Hak paused mid-step to chew on the thought. Several people eyed him as they passed by. He narrowed his eyes and forced one foot in front of the other. 

“Hello stranger…” a sultry woman cooed at him as he strolled by her. 

“No, thanks.” Hak moved past her with a sigh and slight wave of his hand in dismissal. 

He heard her scoff. Inside the back of his mind, he could hear Jae Ha. _”She’s a woman. You have to treat her gently, Hak._

Inwardly, he rolled his eyes and continued to wander as he examined the feelings inside him that had sparked up and forced Yona to tell him to take a walk. There was only one reason she would ever tell him to leave the camp and go clear his head. 

_Soo-Won._

Even his name made Hak’s blood boil.

Stopping on the street, he noticed the crowds had thinned out now that he wasn’t on the main road. Several groups of children ran and tumbled around the street, screeching in pure joy as only the oblivious can. 

No one was out to watch them. 

Things were improving so much that adults let their kids run rampant through the streets or didn’t feel the need to care about their welfare.

Hak watched them quietly from where he had stepped into an alley and out of the way. His eyes fell on three children: a girl and two boys. The two little boys waved sticks around, brandishing them in a childish imitation of sword fighting. 

“I’ll win her hand in marriage,” one of the little boys boasted, bringing a rueful smile to Hak’s lips. 

“No. I will!” The other redhead waved his sword over his head. 

The blue-haired little girl shook her head, pushed over one of the boys and took his sword. “I don’t need you! I’m going to find my own person to marry!” 

“But - We’re just playing.” The black-haired boy pouted. 

“Yeah! No one would _really_ want to marry you,” the redhead insisted. 

The little girl’s cheeks puffed out as she tossed the sword to the ground and stomped off. “FINE.”

Both boys watched her go before the black-haired boy offered the redhead his sword back. “Guess we should just play without her.” 

“Yeah, she’ll be back tomorrow,” he agreed as they squared off against each other.

Hak shook his head and tried not to smile. 

_Soo-Won._

They had been like that when they were little. 

Sure, Yona had been around, but more often than not when she wasn’t, he was still with Soo-Won. They played together and went out into the town together, even when they had to sneak out. 

It was memories like that which pulled him back from losing himself to the all consuming fire of hatred he felt for his former friend. The undiluted anger he possessed sometimes stopped him and made him take a good hard look at himself. 

Hak had never let anger consume him. He had gotten annoyed a handful of times, but the anger was a new addition to the range of emotions he was used to. Even now, the anger bent his promise near its breaking point. 

Hak had wanted to be someone to look up to, not someone to be feared and watched out for. Especially when it came to Soo-Won and Yona. 

Had it not been for Jae Ha reaching out and grabbing his arm, he could have grabbed Soo-Won. He could have snapped his neck and been done with it, and he could have had Yona back in the palace where she belonged with six strong guardians at her beck and call. 

But was that really what he wanted? Would Yona ever be able to look at him again if he was the one to take Soo-Won’s life? 

Hak slipped down the street once more as he listened to the sound of the children pretend to sword fight, and as he turned down the next street, the sounds faded until he could no longer hear them at all. 

Hak retraced his way through the small assortment of shops, pausing when something caught his eye, but otherwise the noise and calls from the vendors were easy to ignore. He had too much on his mind anyway. 

“Sorry. I don’t have any money.” He edged himself around a particularly aggressive owner as he stepped in Hak’s path. 

Even though it was a lie, it was effective at turning away most sellers attention. 

The sun was starting to go down. Hak had started out late, but not so late that he wouldn’t be able to find his way back. However, he still didn’t feel ready to head back just yet. 

Thanks to their companions, he and Yona were surviving and would continue to do so. Whether that would end up pitting them against Soo-Won sooner or later was the question. They had already run into each other in their respective quests to help the people of the Kouka Kingdom. 

Instead of working apart, they could have worked _together_. 

Soo-Won had taken it upon himself to do what he felt was needed, and he had left Hak out of the loop. 

Of course he had. 

There was always a part of him that thought Soo-Won held himself back from being completely honest with others. He had a way about him that Hak had observed when he was inside the palace, and then a different way he approached others around him on the street. 

When he had introduced Hak to his shadier contacts, Hak should have understood something about Soo-Won. He should have shielded himself and extended that to Yona. 

Hak should have been wary, but he had allowed himself to bond and grow closer to the only person who had hurt him. 

Soo-Won was the only one who could twist emotions around and hurt him so bad that he lost his composure. He was the only person that could take away his choice in any matter and push him back into a corner. He was also the only person that could still utilize his strength in situations where both had the same goal despite being on opposite sides. No one could ever move and work in tandem with him with just a look like they had done when rescuing Lili from the gallows. 

The evening birds chirped and flew overhead as Hak found his body turned towards the direction of camp. 

The damage had been done. The betrayal was like a knife that was plunged deep into his chest making it hard to breathe any time he thought of Soo-Won or saw him. How was it possible to live with such a deep wound? 

He had to continue on, not just for Yona’s sake but for Soo-Won’s. 

Hak would continue on so that he could show him that he had made a mistake by dismissing both him and Yona. 

They had met several times already because they had the same goals in mind, and with Yona wanting to keep helping the citizens of Kouka they would meet again. 

Wandering down the path, he could already see the smoke rising above the trees from the fire Yoon was using to cook dinner. While the walk did very little to banish the bad feelings he held inside himself, Hak felt more sure in his own feelings. 

“I’ll take all the memories, all the affection, and turn them into my determination,” he muttered to himself as he drew near the camp. 

They would all show him that it was his mistake. 

They could have stayed _together_ and helped make Kouka strong again. 

\-----

It was night time at the Kouka palace. 

The cicadas cried out in the trees and Soo-Won sat in his own room, the darkness of the chamber illuminated by the moon hitting the curtains from outside and from the small lamp near his bedside. 

Two guards patrolled the walkways outside his room, their voices faded in and out as they crossed in front of his room without incident. 

It was always quiet inside the palace now. A somber air surrounded the halls where there had once been cheerfulness and brightness in every corner when the previous king was alive. He had taken the light and snuffed it out until all that was left was an empty throne and two spots beside him that would never be filled again. 

One could have been occupied by Yona, but the one that was most noticeable was the large emptiness on his left. 

_Hak._

Patting the spot beside him in the dim light, Soo-Won smiled ruefully. “I didn’t realize how lonely it would be without Hak here to sit quietly beside me after a bad day.” 

No one answered him back. 

That was the way he had designed it. The people closest to him were still outside of his reach. He wouldn’t allow people to get that close again as long as he lived. He couldn’t afford to or they could derail his plans. 

Just like Hak could have done so. 

Had he been any closer, then Soo-Won would have been softened by the affection for his friend. He would have let him in, and Hak would have betrayed him. First and foremost, his friend was loyal to Yona and her father, but when it was just them…

The illusion that he was the closest one to Hak was an attractive thought. 

They had spent so much time together doing things that even after his father had been killed by Yona’s father, he had tamped down the bitterness and the hate in his heart. 

He tried. 

Soo-Won had failed. The hate had wrapped around and tainted him with a deep seated need for revenge. One by one, he had been able to assemble a group of people that wanted change just as badly as he did. 

But then Hak was there. Sitting with him when he had his bad days, when he found it too exhausting to pretend. His friend sat by him and said nothing, content to nap as Soo-Won let the thoughts run rampant in his head. Sometimes he brought him fruit that they would share, the juices running down their fingertips to their elbows. 

Soo-Won turned to the lamp. The glow it cast grew along with the shadows on the walls. 

“Just like the darkness inside me,” Soo-Won whispered to himself with a rueful smile. 

The darkness inside himself was necessary and needed. If he hadn’t have pushed through with what he had decided to do then nothing would have changed. The Kouka kingdom had been on its last leg, and at least now, it had a fighting chance to become strong again. 

Countless lives had been changed for the better at King Il’s death. 

All that had been traded in exchange was Yona’s smile and Hak’s unwavering faith. Neither one would be able to forgive him for the blood on his hands, but then again, the blood had fostered change that would allow more people to live. 

Even if it meant that Hak was no longer at his side. 

Fondness and friendship meant nothing when it came to saving a kingdom. 

Standing up, Soo-Won looked at the mats in the room. Before he had been allowed to stay in the king's bedroom, it had to be renovated and cleaned up. There was no trace of blood from the night he sank his blade into the man that had killed his father. 

His palm felt heavy at the memory. 

Would Yona one day know the same weight in her hand? No, Hak would never let her be the one to dirty her hands with his blood. Hak would most likely be the one to give him his death. 

Hak had once said that he would be the shadow for them both, but he had never personally seen it that way. 

Soo-Won was the shadow that had no reason to be near Hak or Yona who were the light. They shone so brightly it sometimes hurt to look at them and know what he had to throw away to achieve his goals and help Kouka. 

Moving to the doors, he opened them listening to the quiet slide of wood as he stepped out into the cold evening air. The moon now sat high in the sky above them as he looked at the empty courtyard spread out in front of him. 

At night, everything looked more vast and lonely. 

“I’m sorry, Hak. I’m sorry that I thought I could ever bring someone like you more light then you already had.” Even with the words spoken out loud, Soo-Won felt foolish. 

_Him? Bring anyone light?_

What had be been thinking? 

Someone as tainted by hate and revenge as he was could never really hope to bring anyone light. In fact, he had dragged both Yona and Hak into the dark with mixed results. While Yona seemed to have taken her exile and turned it into something positive, Hak wore his wounds open and bleeding. 

A shiver ran down his spine as he remembered the hatred in those dark eyes and the hand that had reached out for him. 

He had deserved it. 

He had been ready to die. 

But one of the men that traveled with them had held Hak back, and another had grabbed him as they struggled to keep Hak from fulfilling what he had so badly wanted. Soo-Won had fled even when he knew that he would have deserved whatever punishment Hak had in mind. 

Death by his hand would almost have been the release he wanted from the situation. 

Soo-Won sat in his bed robes on the steps, smoothing them out around himself. One day he would have to answer for his actions, but that hadn’t been the day for him to atone. 

No, he still had much to do. 

The darkness inside him had stolen something from Hak that time. The light he possessed had seeped inside him just like the darkness had tainted Hak’s light. They each carried a part of the other now. 

He would bring Hak’s light with him as he gave hope to the people of the kingdom, just like how Hak would continue to use his hatred to push on and turn it into his strength. 

Looking up at the moon in the sky, Soo-Won tipped his head back with a sigh. “One day when we can finally sit down and talk again, I know I’ll have a lot to answer for.” 

“Sire?” one of the guards called to Soo-Won, and just like that, his thoughts of Hak were hastily shoved aside. 

“Yes?” He slowly stood and brushed off his robes. 

“Is something wrong?” the young guard asked.

“Everything is just fine,” Soo-Won answered with a smile as he moved down the hall to go over the next part of his plans. 

He needed to focus on making Kouka strong and make it a reality before he could really take those feelings out again and examine them.

**Author's Note:**

> This was definitely something that I had actually thought about a lot. As a gift fic this was fun to write, I hope that the person I wrote this for enjoys it and that it's what you wanted. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


End file.
